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Know when I was about 11. Dad tried to teach me how to ride a lawn mower. One of those rickety death traps. Not the kind that kinda� look like a race car. Well.. I got on there.. Pair of my mom’s garden gloves. Boots too big. A Miami Dolphins cap of all things. And it got so shaky. Rattling and cuttin�, ratllin� n cuttin�, it was like� God reached out to me from the heavens, picked me up and�

[JAKE puts his hands together as if grabbing an imaginary person]

Where’s my damn collection plate money boyyy!

I got off that damn mower and ran inside before anyone could see me cryin!.. Never again.. Good eggs.

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