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The club conducts one of its mock funerals.
ROWAN: Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
BOBBY: May the Lord be with you . . .
ROWAN: And with your spirit.
BOBBY: Dearly beloved, we are gather here today to pay our last respects to Newton B. Minnow, beloved son and brother, devoted husband and father, friend to many.
ROWAN: We take the measure of a man not by the things he acquires, but by the lives he touches, and by this measure, Newton Minnow was quite a man.
BOBBY: A man for all seasons, who in the autumn of his years, fell from the tree of life like a ripe crabapple.
ROWAN: (to BOBBY) That last line was a bit overripe itself.
BOBBY: I was distracted.
ROWAN: Carry on, man.
BOBBY: How can I carry on when I don’t have a quality corpse to work with?
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