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Leonardo: (Realising that she's moved)....

Moaner Lisa

Leonardo da Vinci Lisa del Gioncondo

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Leonardo: (Realising that she's moved). Please, Mrs� Lisa. You need to sit down� here� And not move.

Lisa sits back down and assumes the pose. She begins juggling the apple in her hands.

Lisa: Our home could do with a good coat of paint.

Leonardo: Ha, I'm not that kind of painter� A portrait painter. You know� Faces of kings and queens and popes and� (The apple flies out of Lisa's hands and is caught by Leonardo) …Jesus Christ! Look, Mrs Del Giocondo...

Lisa: …Lisa.

Leonardo: Mrs Lisa, I need you to sit and do� (Firmly) nothing.

Lisa: Loud noises bring on my Tonsillitis.

Leonardo: Shh.

Lisa: …Or was it Tinnitus?

(Leonardo begins applying brush strokes).

(After a few moments, Lisa speaks).

Lisa: Are you finished yet?

(Leonardo ignores her and continues painting).

Lisa: Have you finished

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