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Victoria: It does seem rather complicate...

Stupid Old Cow

Victoria Ravenscroft Bowling Club President

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Victoria: It does seem rather complicated...

President: Nothing complicated about it. We’re the Over-60s Ladies’s Bowling Club. We are famous for having some of the best ball work in the county.

Victoria laughs immaturely. Manages to turn her laughter into a cough.

Victoria: Ten pin or crown green?

President: Crown green, naturally.

Victoria: Naturally!

President: (looking Victoria up and down) You are perfect member material. A woman. An older lady like the rest of us and one who shares our passion for bowls.

Victoria: Bowels? I’m flattered but-

President: (examining Victoria very closely) You’re...almost sixty aren’t you?

Victoria: Fifty-nine and seven eighths actually...

President: You’re almost senior then.

Victoria: Almost senile?

President: And you’ll be eligible to be a club

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