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Jill addresses Andrew, who is obsessed with Marisa ... just like her ex boyfriend Brandon was
Ugh, you sound just like Brandon. You know, for two years, I beg him to transfer here, so we can be together. “Oh no� he says, “some of my credits won’t transfer over, I’ll have to spend like an extra semester or a summer to catch up.� Then on his visit over winter break I introduce him to Marisa.
(Beat)
Suddenly, he changes his tune. “What’s one summer when I can be near you?� And he transferred.
And I was thrilled � but only for like two seconds because as soon as he got here every other word out of his mouth started to be � “Marisa! Marisa, Marisa, Marisa!� (Singing) “I once knew a girl named Marisa!�
(Beat)
So � anyway � last night was the last straw. He was repeating her name over and over in his sleep, “Marisa, oh, Marisa, oh, Marisa!� I wake him up and I say, “What were you just dreaming about?� He tries to play it all innocent “Uh, nothing. What do you mean?� And I’m like, “it’s never going to happen.� And he’s all, like- “what’s never going to happen?� And I’m like “Marisa! You and Marisa!� And he’s all “Why would I want to be with Marisa!? You and I are together.�
(Beat)
And I’m like “Well what if we weren’t together, would you consider being with her?� And he says, trying to act casual “I guess, I’d be open to it. Why? Did she say something about me?�
(Beat)
And I say “No! Did you not hear me when I said it’s never going to happen!?� And he’s all offended, “Well, ‘never� is pretty harsh. I mean, I’m pretty good with the ladies.� And I’m like “Not from where I’m standing, buddy!� He goes, “So are you saying you want to break up?� I go “No, you’re saying that.� And he says � he says, “I can’t get her out my mind, I’m sorry, I can’t help it.� So I say to him: “You’re throwing our relationship away for nothing. She’s like fort knocks, nobody cracks that!�
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