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Do you wanna know what I know about science? When they had to make all those cutbacks here and they couldn’t afford to have so many swimmers training for competition, and during practices I was coming in last, every time, and Coach was like, okay, we’re gonna have to cut back, we’re cutting back to 4 guys, 4 girls.
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End: I know that you’re thinking this is wrong, you think I’m breaking the rules, but I mean if you read the rules, if you sit down and read them, I read them, and I really think I have a good case.

For full extended monologue, please refer to clips or the script edition cited here: Lucas Hnath, Red Speedo, Overlook Press, 2020, pp. 24-26.